There is a price to pay for attaining your dreams

 When I was in my twenties I had an inspiration one day and sat at my kitchen table in Missoula, Montana and wrote a play from start to finish in one sitting.  It just poured out of me. I then typed it up and went to the theater department of the University of Montana and confidently delivered it to the head of the department.  I was not in theater and had never met him before but that day I handed him my play, not sure how he would respond.   I gave him a few days to read it then returned.  He welcomed me with a smile and said, "I liked it, I could see the characters, I will give you one of our stages and access to the actors, directors, etc.  I was so surprised and excited.  I wasn't interested in preforming or directing I was willing to give that over to other students, who knew more about that then me.

So, I leave the directors office and a feeling of dread hits my stomach....  "Will it be successful? Will any one come to the show? Will I make a fool out of myself? Is the play really any good?" I had a 30 minute walk home to go over all of this in my head.

I put my work out there now I realized, I was out there.  Would it expose me to much? Would I be viewed as an ego maniac for having the audacity to approach the head director.  My insecurity was nagging at my mind.  Then it started coming together, the play was presented to a group of students and quickly auditions were started and things started to move. It was really going to happen. At the time I didn't have a car, so I would walk, rode my bike or took the bus around Missoula.  It was winter and I was sort of fond of catching a bus in the morning and walking home in the afternoon or evening after class.  The area was beautiful and in the winter, snow covered the mountains, streets and trees producing a white winter wonderland.  

During my walks I would talk to myself about the upcoming play.  I started envisioning how successful it would be, that the theater would be filled.  that I would make money and I could pay everyone who participated.   I still struggled with not feeling worthy, but as I began to encourage myself that the play would be a success my fears would subside. I started to learn that I was the master of my fears.

The day of the play we had two shows and the house was packed! It was a success.  We had a director, actors, dancers, musicians and an audience full.  I was thrilled and filled with excitement.  I named my play "Crazies' in the back of the room" it was a play about a girl who was noticing four "crazy" people that would appear and she was the only one that would acknowledge them everyone else pretended they were not there.  The crazies' were nothing more than our "hidden" core desires that get repressed to conform. She eventually surrendered to the crazies" and became one of them..

We live in a world that rewards conformity and comfort. And to be unique or to be true to what is inside of us is often a struggle.  We get great ideas and we have big dreams but our inner voice and perhaps the world and people around us try to stifle what is inside of us, which is desperately trying to come out.  We pay a price to attain our dreams and it is the price of being uncomfortable, the price of exposer, the price of possibly facing ridicule, the price of vulnerability, the price of having to overcome our fears and insecurities. 

How many times have you sat on a dream, idea or inspiration because the price seemed to high?  The price of putting it out there and all on the line.  The price of making scary changes that create massive discomfort.  The price of NOT attaining your dreams is even higher. The price that you have been given a gift and you hide it and the world may never get to see what gold lies within you.  And you will never gain the confidence that comes from taking risks. You will never get to see what is on the other side of fear. You will never see what can bloom from one simple choice To Do What You Really Want To Do!

We all have a desire to connect, to be seen by others, to bring forth what is inside of us. No one likes being overlooked or passed over. But we also have fear of exposing ourselves.  That was the first time I had put myself out there, but it was not the last.  I was probably around 24 years old when I wrote the play, full of dreams, plans and life before me but I was lacking some wisdom, experience and I was in need of some healing that wouldn't come for many years.  But I learned that time in my life I had to move forward even when afraid, even when insecure if I wanted to realize my dreams.

Today, take an inventory of your life and the dreams that have been planted within you.  Be willing to believe that your dreams were put there for a reason and that if they are there inside, you will be able to fulfill them. It will take Faith, courage, discomfort and risk but ask yourself, "What is the price you are paying for not following your dreams?'

I pray you find the courage to move forward and as you do please share with me and others what you are doing.  Find people who will support you, believe in you and help you as you grow and become willing to pay the price for attaining your dreams.