Hunger, famine, and hunting- Life after divorce

  spoke to a friend the other day and we were talking about what people go through when they come out of a marriage and are single again for the first time in perhaps years.  She gave me this great analogy about being hungry/ famished and hunting that I believe many people could benefit from hearing and understanding.  Simply because this transition in life is challenging and new territory for everyone that goes through a divorce and is now faced with single life but with a desire to remarry one day. So here we go with the analogy…

 

When a person comes out of a marriage they are famished or hungry and do not even realize it because while in the marriage the hunger and famine gradually took place, and the person wasn’t completely aware of it.  So now your divorced and single and famished and unaware.  So, someone comes along and catches your eye and suddenly your hunger pains began to get provoked and the concept of eating seems to for the first time in perhaps years presents itself to you and now your ready to pull up to the table and eat! 

However, my friend continues, this is a dangerous time because though being hungry is not always a bad thing being famished and not putting that hunger in check can have devastating results.  We do not want to nourish our bodies with the first thing that comes along which could be equal to fast food we need well prepared and nutritious meals if we long term health.  And here is often where people mess up, they start eating from a famished place and soon find themselves in trouble and perhaps sick and remarried to someone who is not going to give them what they long term need.  That choice to eat without wisdom and in haste can have serious long-term effects that cause more harm than had the person newly single been aware of where they were emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.  But its hard to see correctly when you are famished because malnutrition will affect you.  Its hard to evaluate a situation correctly when the territory is all new, a bit uncomfortable and vulnerable. It is hard to know where you are when you have no compass to point you in the right direction and your driven by hunger.  Here is where a trusted friend or confidant can be of great benefit to you, someone who has been in this place before and can help you navigate.  Some one who loves and cares for your well being and knows the traps and challenges that may lie ahead. 

And specifically, for the Ladies: 

My friend further went to say that men being the masculine are the hunters and women being the feminine are the hunted.  (Which for some reason I find this to be so sexy, LOL!!) But, because women come out of a marriage famished, they start to hunt simply to fulfill the hunger.  And this breaks the order of things and will throw the natural dynamic off.  So again, women need to learn to put their hunger in check and enjoy the ride and be patient and understand where they are in life.  And ladies do not degrade yourselves and become a smorgasbord for every hunter that looks your way.  And if you feel like your stumbling all over the place during this time don’t take yourself to seriously and get upset about it, you’re learning.  It is new territory and a new experience, one filled with perhaps little navigation and direction.

Also, if you have met someone early on after a divorce is does not necessarily mean that you are drawn to that person just from a place of famine.  There could be something there the point is, make wise, intelligent and patient choices.  Make sure you are aware of what is going on with yourself.  We all desire love.  We all desire the need to connect and have deep and meaningful relationships within a marriage but to act and move from a place of unfulfillment/ famine can cause us to make rash choices that hurt and harm ourselves and other yet even further.  I pray if this is a part of your current situation this helps you in some way and that you move through it with wisdom, peace and confidence and that at the end of the road you find love that is real, sustainable, passionate and fulfilling.